Blast from the Past: I Went Blind Today

There are some things from ye old blog I want to forget and others I don’t. This blast from the past, circaMarch 2007, is worth remembering. Here we go …

You ain’t gonna believe it! Excuse me … you aren’t going to believe this one. But I promise you … you can’t make this type of stuff up.

See, I’m supposed to be sleep – doctors orders. But instead, I’m making a special moment to blog about what happened this morning just to share with y’all, brighten your weekend, and let anybody know who might be looking for me that I’ll be back online on Monday. Sorry, doctor’s orders. Let me give you the play by play:

I went temporarily blind this morning. Holy No-Eyes Batman! Buh-lind! It started out as an area in my vision (both eyes) which I could see a crescent moon of no color and no shapes. Freaked me the {beeeeep} out! I was looking at Lita and hubby the ex and suddenly they were not there! I didn’t scream or anything, just sat down because I immediately thought I was having a stroke. Curse that Butter Cake from yesterday! (that’s what I was thinking).

I started lifting my hands in the air trying to feel if one was not communicating and talking to check my speech. Funny how someone who’s having a stroke CAN’T check their own symptoms. But I didn’t think about how I could do that. Just that I couldn’t see my own family or surroundings and my eyes were wide open.

So there I sat for five minutes not saying anything just watching (actually not-watching) the world around me go missing (not even dark just missing). The weirdest experience of my life to date. I started to pray, pray about seeing my daughter’s face again, how I took looking at color for granted and even trailed off into thinking that I could at least still hear and perhaps I could learn to play the piano again.

Then I had this sudden rush of fear that I was going to … pass … you know, move on … become deceased. Anxiety is the best word for that.

That lasted for eight minutes. Finally, my eyesight began to return and I could see mostly everything except out of my peripheral. That was good enough to let me know that I hadn’t died. I ran to the phone, called my eye doctor and they scheduled me in right away.

Then I told my husband the ex to drive me there (he finally noticed something was wrong with me).

So my vision doc (who I just spent a nice morning with) said I was having some type of ocular migraine which has nothing to do with my eyes — believe it or not. In my case, it’s brought on by an immediate case of abrupt stress. Something so powerful experienced by a person who’s already a bit stressed out. So big stressor on top of little unusual stresses. Not the best thing in life.

Now, you and I both have that question? What was the big stressor? Doc asked the same thing. What in the world happened so quickly that caused me to lose my vision temporarily??? Hmmm? Is the suspense killing you yet?

This morning my alarm clock (Lita) woke me up at 7 am. I made oatmeal for breakfast and sat down with Lita to watch Oobi. Normal day normal life. After that, we played around the house, I made the beds, checked my email and handed Lita her play phone and conducted a mock conversation between her stuffed animals and her. Regular good times.

About 9:00 am, I heard my front door open which is weird because hubby the ex doesn’t come home for lunch until noon and he ALWAYS calls. Didn’t hear any keys jiggle the deadBOLTED double locks! Just the door slowly creak open. Lita and I (thinking it was hubby the ex) walked out the back room, through the living room, hall, then dining room to the front door and I stopped about six feet from it because by this time usually hubby the ex should have been well through the door taking his coat off. He wasn’t.

This time it was wide open and NO ONE was standing there. My-heart-stopped-beating! It STOPPED!

I couldn’t decide what to do in that instant because what if the perpetrator was already in the house behind me. They would have had enough time to sneak past me on my way from the other side of our home. How would I defend myself and more importantly how would I defend Lita? And with what!? What the {Beep} was I to do? What if they were standing there on the opposite side of the door waiting to grab me and my baby? Oh Jesus! WTF! (Those two phrases aren’t supposed to go together but in this case they did)!

Finally, my hubby the ex pokes his wide-grinned, evil-butt head around the door and said, “Got You”. I just about collapsed. And that’s when my vision started to go vacant. I guess it was all my little body could take!

Now, all I can do is vegetate this weekend. NO STRESS the doctor ordered. No more 3 am sessions of mass producing … anything … then waking back up at 7 am. No major house cleaning (I ain’t mad at that at all!) No heated debates with my friends, no new and/or stressful movies, no worrying about bills. No nothing!

I was thinking about ways to get my husband the ex back for this evil set of events and I tell you — the end joke is on him. Now that I can’t lift a finger, he has to do ALL the housework: do the grocery shopping, the laundry, the dusting, the vacuuming, go get the car fixed, drop checks off at the bank, take Lita to see my Mom, cook all three meals, AND do everything I normally do for our child this weekend. And he had to take the rest of the day off from work to get started today and of course drive me to the doc’s office! Heh-heh-heh.

I tell ya, it’s worth losing my vision for a simple 10 minutes just to have seen that look on hubby’s face after hours of testing my vision (and cranium) when the doc told him, “Boy, you’re going to have a GREAT weekend! I will offer a piece of advice son, next time bring home some flowers for your wife instead of anything else you might be thinking.”